𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙰𝙻 - 𝙲𝙰𝚃

 Loneliness & Self Destruction 

My project is an extension of my performance art post, where I wrote out a script that instructed the performer and the audience to work alongside one another. The piece asked the audience to confront their own experiences of isolation while gently transforming the space into connection. My final intervention, although an extension of the original, I chose a simpler confrontation. It is an 18 X 24 in. poster with the words “I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE” and links to a song that I tend to listen to when I feel this way. Right below the poster are post-it notes and a pen that gives passersbys the option to share how they feel, if similar or different. However, it is not expected for them to participate, because this is simply confronting my own feelings in a public space; in an anonymous way. The Hispanic Executive states, “the act of experiencing a space, memory, or feeling is simultaneously an opportunity to reflect, meditate, and explore” (Soto & Leonardo). My message for the audience is confronting yourself through reflection.  

The song linked on the poster is Woodpecker by Passion Mango. The lyrics go:

What is it that I need 

You know I don't wanna miss my sleep

It's all that I need.

I feel as if it embodies that cyclical feeling of routine-loneliness and despair. Music is another form of connection. Sometimes you don’t want to have to explain how you feel, so music explains it for you, and you connect with the lyrics, or the artist, or the message, if any. The emotional tone of the song represents emptiness and detachment, emotions that linger when you’re dealing with internal battles. The links on the poster serve as a psychological counterpart to physical performance. Performance artists that inspired my intervention include: Marina Abramovic, Chris Burden, and Bas Jan Ader. Abramovic’s The Artist Is Present, was a performance lasting nearly three months where visitors were invited one at a time to sit across from her and engage in eye contact without conversation. An article states, “The body is not rejected as a corrupt part, but is understood as a tool, inserting it into the performance as a fundamental part and signifying it as something manipulable, which can be hurt, pressed, subjected to pain or used as a guiding thread” (Gomez Beltran). Her piece explores endurance, vulnerability, and the transformative potential of human presence. Burden’s Shoot (1971), involves the artist being shot in the arm with a .22 caliber rifle as part of an exploration of risk, violence, and media perception. Artsper Magazine states, “He was interested in pushing the spectators to understand an actual reality of torment, agony, and desperation” (Takac). Shoot provoked controversy for its apparent recklessness and ethical implications. Jan Ader’s I’m Too Sad To Tell You exists as both a short B&W film and series of photographs showing the artist crying uncontrollably. An article says, “overcome by sadness, he transforms his inability to communicate the reason behind his tears into the subject of his work” (Museo Jumex). With no explanation, it represents internalized solitude. These artists explore loneliness and self-destruction through different forms like emotional collapse, shared presence, and bodily risk, while Passion Mango internalizes these same feelings through sound and repetition.

I originally based my future BFA Thesis on the feeling of melancholy. I want to create a body of works that portray feelings I find hard to explain. Similar to Abramovic, I want to connect through shared feelings. Like Burden, I want to confront the audience with the reality of what “I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE” means. Inspired by Jan Ader’s use of feeling without words, I want to reach the audience without physical performance. In the end, I am not a therapist and I am still figuring out how to live and not simply exist. My project is meant to be a stepping stone in opening myself up to the world as well as inviting others to do the same by sharing their thoughts if need be, or connecting with a song we might both like. Pain demands to be felt. 

:I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE:

Works Cited

Gómez Beltrán, Iván. “Marina Abramović En ‘the Artist Is Present’ (2010): Cuerpo, Consciencia Y Performance Como Agentes Para La Crítica Cultural.” Calle 14 Revista de Investigación En El Campo Del Arte, vol. 13, no. 24, July 2018, pp. 376–89, https://doi.org/10.14483/21450706.13532. Accessed 5 Oct. 2020.

“I´M Too Sad to Tell You - Museo Jumex.” Museo Jumex, 2026, www.fundacionjumex.org/en/fundacion/coleccion/440-i-m-too-sad-to-tell-you-estoy-demasiado-triste-para-decirte-bas-jan-ader-1971.

Soto, Edra. “Performance, Pedagogy, and Philosophy - Hispanic Executive.” Hispanic Executive, July 2022, hispanicexecutive.com/shaun-leonardo/. Accessed 21 Apr. 2026.

Spivey, Dr. Virginia B., and The Art Assignment. “Performance Art: An Introduction – Smarthistory.” Smarthistory.org, smarthistory.org/performance-art-an-introduction/.

Takac, Balasz. “When Chris Burden Tried to Shoot Himself for the Sake of Art.” Artsper Magazine, 2 Apr. 2025, blog.artsper.com/en/a-closer-look/chris-burden-shoot/. Accessed 21 Apr. 2026.